My dad wasn’t just my father—he was my best friend. Losing him, along with my closest friend soon after, shattered my world in ways I never imagined. No one truly prepares you for grief. It’s isolating because even with all the love and support in the world, no one can fully grasp your loss or the unique bond you’ve lost.
In those raw, quiet moments, I turned to what I knew: writing. Journaling became my outlet, my safe space. Every night, by candlelight, I’d pour my heart onto paper, as if I were still talking to my dad. The candle became more than just a light—it was a symbol of hope. My dad was a Cincinnati firefighter and arson investigator, and some small part of me always hoped he’d blow out that candle one more time, just to let me know he was still there—seriously, he blew out every candle I ever lit.
Image Caption:
“You’re a real ball buster—my nurse—you may want to scale that back a little… just saying.” - Dad
I’d mix myself a cocktail (zero proof, most nights) and sit with my thoughts. That ritual—of light, words, and a calming drink—helped me process my grief and eventually sparked the creation of XOXO Greetings and Hive Craft Cocktails. What started as personal healing grew into a way to connect with others who, like me, are navigating life’s highs and lows. It also inspired the Hive Market, a community space built around creativity, connection, and support.
At some point, I had to get honest with myself: I couldn’t stay stuck. I had to get off my ass, stop crying, and channel my grief into action. That’s where my inner boss emerged. And if you need a little nudge to tap into yours? Our Boss Bitch Cocktail Kit was made for exactly that moment.
This deep grief set me on a journey of self-healing, self-discovery, and ultimately, self-empowerment. I found myself reaffirming who I am, what I want, and going after it with more clarity and purpose than ever before.
I’m reminded of an epitaph I read as a child on a tombstone:
“Stop my friend and cast an eye, for where you stand so once was I, where I am now soon you will be, prepare for death and follow me.”
It stuck with me—and still does. The beauty of grief and loss is that, even though you stand in it alone, if you allow yourself to embrace the discomfort, you gain something priceless: clarity. Time is limited. And when you accept that truth, you can get really clear about who you are and what you want.
I also find deep comfort in the laws of science—“Energy cannot be created or destroyed.” I know my father’s spirit is still alive in this world, and in many ways, I continue to share these moments with him.
What I didn’t expect was how grateful I would become for the people I’ve connected with on this journey—kindred spirits who have helped me grow, heal, and become unstuck.
If you’re grieving right now, please know you’re not alone. Take the time you need. Find what works for you, and keep taking that Next Step Forward (the expression of it is unique to us all).
Melissa Thornton
Head of Snark & Stationery, XOXO Greetings 💌